Expatriate games.

Right... so I just attended my 20-year high school reunion.  It was a real gas to see a bunch of people I haven't seen in almost that long.  I was happy I could see some particular people I've only corresponded with on the Facebutts for the last decade.

But back to the reunion: I had such a grand time gabbing with old friends.  I'm finding more and more, however, that when I go back to the United States there is a growing disconnect.  For example, I was the only one at the reunion wearing a coat and tie.  I was the only one with 扇子 (a folding hand fan).  I was, perhaps, the only one not drinking any alcohol (which, whether they knew it or not, was for the good of all).  I'm pretty sure I was the only one who would have preferred chopsticks for his salad.  I was definitely the only one unintentionally using Japanese paralinguistic responses in conversation.  間違いない。

The school where I work has a large number of returnees: students who have lived abroad (particularly in Anglophone countries) for four years or more.  Some of them have a great deal of trouble adjusting (or readjusting) to their new (or old) environment.  They are fish who grew accustomed to being out of water only to be tossed back in it.  It seems to be quite traumatic emotionally.

I can empathize somewhat.  I was always an outsider in school for a variety of reasons.  But now, as a white foreigner living in Japan, I am the dictionary definition of an outsider.  What's more, every time I come back to  America, I find I am more of an outsider there.  Don't misunderstand me: I love where I live.  It is my home now.  But it is not my homeland.  And now my homeland is no longer my home.

I don't really belong anywhere anymore.